Mom 2 her 7 year old kid lets practice maths ok?
Lets start with addition

Example -
Your gf gave u 2 candy 2 ice cream
wats ur ans?
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Kid – Luv u jaanu.;)
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Shortest love story !!
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He proposed, She smiled.
No teeth, He died
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Fastest GAY marriage proposal :
Gay-1 : ‘Khaana Banana’ aata hai?
Gay-2 : Nahi par…

‘Banana Khaana’ aata hai…
& they lived happily ever after…
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Kya fayada?
10th
12th
BA
BSC
B.TECH
B.COM
B.M.S
MBA
LLB
MBBS
CA
M.PHIL
PH.D
KARNE ka’

Jab ye hi pata na chale ki
golgappe ko English me kya kehte hai???:(

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Father: Hey son! Why is your mother sitting so silent today?
Son: Nothing dad. She asked for lipstick and I heard GLUE STICK.

Father: God bless you son!

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Shaadi me 1 smart ladki ladke se boli : aap dance karoge?

Ladka sharma ke :- Yes :@

Ladki pyar se :
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to fir main aapki kursi le jau
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Tourist guide – Santaji plz dont sit there,
its Tipu sultan’s chair
Santa – oye dont worry yaar i’ll get up
when he will come here.!!..
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Q: A Man asked Santa, “Akal badhi ya bhains? ”
A: Santa bola, “Pehle date of birth to batao.”
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Bus Me 1 Aurat Bacche ko ApNa Dudh Pilate Huye
bolti hain – Peele, Nahi to Uncle ko de dungi!
SANTA : OYE, Jaldi Decide kar!
Tere Chakkar Me mein 5 stop Aage Aa Gaya Hoon!
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Santa: Yaar Banta Dr. ne kaha mujhe AIDS hai.
Banta: Yeh AIDS hoti kya hai?
Santa: A – Ab I – Iss D – Duniya se S – Sat shri akal.
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Orkut te kudi fasai,
Facebook te gal chalai,
Twitter te ma-bapu nu milai,
Yahoo te divorse ho gaya,
ess bahane yaara da computer Da course ho gya
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Santa: Yaar kende ne zindgi 4 dina di ey.
Banta: Aho! Te fer test match kyn 5 dina da honda ey?
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Punjabi Boys ka Girls ko PROPOSE kerny ka style:

Pipal da boota hove…

Gannay da ras hove…

Jay mera wass hove…

Rab di kasam…

Teri Maa meri saas hove…!!!
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Santa: Mainu disco dance wich 1st prize miliya…
Banta: Yaar tenu te dance nahi c aanda..??
Santa: Yaar mainu Stage te Mirgi da daura pai gaya c
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1.They replicate quickly – okay, Windows does that.
2.Viruses use up valuable system resources, slowing down the system as they do so – okay, Windows does that.
3.Viruses will, from time to time, trash your hard disk – okay, Windows does that too.
4.Viruses are usually carried, unknown to the user, along with valuable programs and systems. – Sigh.. Windows does that, too.
5.Viruses will occasionally make the user suspect their system is too slow (see 2) and the user will buy new hardware. – Yup, Windows does that, too.

Until now it seems Windows is a virus but there are fundamental differences: Viruses are well supported by their authors, are running on most systems, their program code is fast, compact and efficient and they tend to become more sophisticated as they mature.

So Windows is not a virus.

It’s a bug.

MODERN BEIZZATI…
Boy: I luv u
Girl: Apni shakal dekhi hai kya?
Boy: Dekhi hai tabhi to tere paas aaya warna Katrina Kaif ke paas na jata!!!
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Mother: Santa tum 18 Years ki larki dekhar shadi karlo,
Santa: 2 bahu lekar ghar aata hai,
Mother: Kya hua?
Santa: 18 ki mili nahi to 9 – 9 ki 2 se shadi karli!!!
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Santa: Mujhe aaj tumhari ungliyan katani paregi,
Wife: Kyu?
Santa: Pappu kah raha tha Lady Finger ki sabji khani hai.
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Santa to Banta – Dr ne kaha tha k tv cabel se bache kharab hote hai
aur padhai b nai krte, maine cabel katwa diya,
Banta: Good. Ye to bahut aachi baat hai,
Santa: Ab maine dish tv laga liya hai!!!
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Double heart attack msg sent boy by a gal :-

1st msg – its ol over, i think we should break up now

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2nd msg – sorry, sorry, sorry…dat was not for u
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ONE OF THE BEST MESSAGES WRITTEN BEHIND A GUJARAT’S CAR..
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‘GIVE ME A LOAN AND THAN LEAVE ME ALONE..!!
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A guy was searching how to tackle wife on google, the google replied:-..
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Even we R searching.
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The Three Magical words Every Guy Dies to Hear from A Girl…
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I Was Wrong..
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Jaat ka dukh:
Koi aankhon se baat kar leve h
Koi isaaroon se baat kar leve h
Par pareshaaniiii toh tabb ho jati h
Jabb koi chorii english may baat kr leve h
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Santa – Mujhe zehar dena
Chemist – Pehle Dr. Se lekhwa k lao.
Santa – Apni shaadi ka card dikhata h.
Chemist – Bus kar bhai rulayega kya,badi bottle du ya chhoti.
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Daadi marte hue :Beta mein apna farm, 6tractor, 50 janwar
aur 22,389,630 cash tumhare naam karti hun
Beta: Dadi yeh sab hai kahan?
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Dadi: FARMVILLE on Facebook.
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2 Guys Were Following 2 Girls
Both Girls Took Rakhi & Tied To Their Hands.

1st Guy To Second Guy- What Will We Do Now?
2nd Guy-U Marry My Sis, I Will Marry Ur Sis
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2 Ladies fighting for a seat in bus…

Conductor:Who is more aged should sit here…

Both looked each other and the seat remained empty
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New Krishna to Radha-
Main Krishna Kanhaiya aur tu Radha Gori
Main Kites ka Hritik tu Barbara Mori
Radha – Jyada line mat mar coz i Hate Luve Story…:-D
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Pani ko bewkuf
kaise banaoge ?

Socho?

Socho

Socho?

Garam karo aur

Roz ki tarah aaj bhi mat nahao..!!!
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Chand bhi kya ajeeb cheez hai…
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Bachpan me ‘Mamu’ aur
Jawani me ‘Janu’ nazar aata hai…
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“Beizzati”

Aur

“Bivi”

Ek Jaisi Hoti Hai…

Achchhi Tab Hi Lagti Hai..

Jab Doosre Ki Ho…!!
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Ham Gaye the Unke Ghar,
Kehna Tha Dil Se Dil Mila Lo,
Unki Maa Ne Khola Darwaza,
Hum Ghabra K Bole Aunty Bachoo Ko Polio Ki Dawa Pilwalo!!!
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Zoobi Doobi Zoobi Doobi
Waah Waah

Zoobi Doobi Zoobi Doobi
Waah Waah

Waah Waah Na Karo
Jaa Ke Zoobi Ko Bachao,
Doob Jayegi.
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Maa Ne kha Haveli chod Do,

Paro Ne kha Daru chod Do,

Ek Din Aaega Jab -
GIRLFRIEND khegi-BHAIYA,
IN BACHO KO ZARA SCHOOL CHOD DO!!!
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